Deep Thinking

Reflection:

This week, I’ve really seen how my overthinking can twist my mind into relentless spirals, especially as someone mildly autistic. My brain, wired to chase patterns and pick apart details, amplifies every doubt and what-if, particularly when I bare my soul, yearning for those soul-deep connections that light up my world. My autism makes emotions feel like vivid bursts—when I’m vulnerable, I’m all in, chasing honesty because anything less feels empty. But when people let me down, the pain hits like a sharp note, echoing longer than I’d like.

I don’t have trust issues, but figuring out who’s genuine—whether it’s someone close or a fleeting online interaction—can feel like solving a maze blindfolded. My mind sifts through every word, pause, or profile, guarding against past stings, like when a connection turned out to be a mirage. This week, though, it got real—I realized my overthinking nearly cost me someone I value most. My autistic habit of overanalyzing made me hesitate, caught in fears of being too open or misreading their heart, almost pushing them away. It was a wake-up call. I’m learning that my openness, even with its risks, is what makes my relationships pulse with meaning. My autism fuels my raw sincerity, and that’s what keeps my bonds—like the one I nearly lost—alive, even if disappointment sometimes tags along.