When I think about my first crush, my mind goes back to my ex-husband, long before he became my ex. He was my world then—charming, familiar, everything I thought I wanted in a man. I poured my heart into that love, believing it was the shape of forever. But life has a way of teaching us, doesn’t it? We grew apart, our paths diverged, and I learned that love, as beautiful as it feels, sometimes needs more than just a spark to endure. That chapter closed, but it left me wiser, with a clearer sense of who I am and what matters to me.
Now, at this point in my life, I find myself with a new crush—one that feels a little silly to admit, but it’s real and it brings me joy. It’s a celebrity crush, on Sam Heughan. I know it’s not the kind of love you build a life on, but there’s something about him that speaks to my heart. It’s not just his charm or the way he lights up a screen as Jamie Fraser in Outlander. It’s deeper than that. It’s the way he carries himself—his kindness, his authenticity, the way he seems to live with purpose and heart.
Sam feels like a reflection of the values I hold dear: sincerity, resilience, and a quiet strength that doesn’t need to shout to be felt. I admire how he’s stayed grounded despite fame, how he shares glimpses of his Scottish roots with such pride, and how he treats people with warmth and respect. There’s a humanity to him that feels rare, like he’s someone who’d sit down for a coffee or a dram of whisky and listen, really listen, to your story. That’s what draws me in—the idea of someone who values connection, who sees the world with a sense of wonder and gratitude.
Maybe it’s silly to have a crush on someone so far removed from my everyday life, but it’s also a reminder of what I aspire to: living openly, loving deeply, and staying true to who I am. Sam represents a spark of inspiration, a nudge to keep my heart open to possibility, whether that’s in love or in the way I move through the world. My first crush taught me about love’s highs and lows, but this crush? It’s teaching me to dream again, to find joy in the little moments of admiration, and to hold onto the values that make me,
Since the end of my marriage, Sam Heughan has become my first crush in a while, and it’s something that always brings me joy.
The unicorn, a creature of myth and wonder, embodies the essence of rarity and beauty, much like my own journey through life as an individual with autism. Just as the unicorn stands apart from the ordinary, I too navigate the world with a perspective that is uniquely my own.
The unicorn’s horn, a symbol of purity and healing, mirrors my ability to see the world in ways others might overlook. My mind, much like the unicorn’s magical nature, processes information with a depth and clarity that can reveal hidden patterns and connections. This gift allows me to approach challenges with creativity and insight, transforming obstacles into opportunities for growth.
In a world that often values conformity, the unicorn reminds me of the strength found in embracing my differences. Its grace and elegance inspire me to move through life with confidence, knowing that my uniqueness is my greatest asset. The unicorn’s mythical status reflects the mystery and wonder that I bring to the world, encouraging others to see beyond the surface and appreciate the richness of diverse perspectives.
Perhaps it is this deep connection to the unicorn that draws me to Scotland, a land where the unicorn is celebrated as the national animal. The rich history and enchanting landscapes of Scotland captivate my imagination, offering a sense of belonging and inspiration. The simplicity yet profound beauty of its rolling hills and ancient castles resonate with my soul, inviting me to dream of visiting or even moving there one day. Maybe, amidst the misty highlands, I will find a Scotsman who shares the same dreams and desires that my heart calls for—a love like Jamie and Claire Fraser’s, filled with adventure, passion, and deep connection.
As I navigate the complexities of life, the unicorn serves as a guiding light, reminding me that my journey is one of beauty and significance. My autistic mind, much like the unicorn, is a testament to the power of individuality and the endless possibilities that arise when we embrace who we truly are. Scotland, with its deep-rooted connection to this mythical creature, feels like a place where my spirit can truly thrive.
Countries I Want to Visit and Why: A Personal Journey
Traveling isn’t just about seeing new places—it’s about chasing stories, feelings, and moments that make the world feel bigger and closer at the same time. Scotland, the Netherlands, Ireland, and England and Wales (Great Britain) have been on my mind for years, each pulling me in with their unique histories, landscapes, and cultures. Here’s why I’m drawn to these places and what I hope to experience in each.
1. Scotland Scotland feels like it’s calling my soul with its wild, untamed beauty. I imagine standing on a windswept cliff in the Highlands, breathing in the crisp air, surrounded by jagged mountains and shimmering lochs. I’m fascinated by its history—castles like Eilean Donan and Stirling whisper tales of clans, rebellions, and resilience. I want to wander Edinburgh’s cobblestone streets during the Fringe Festival, soaking in the energy of performers and storytellers. The thought of sipping a peaty single malt whisky by a pub fire, listening to a local share tales of folklore like the Loch Ness Monster, makes me feel connected to something ancient. Scotland’s rugged charm and proud culture feel like a place where I could lose myself and find something new.
2. The Netherlands The Netherlands strikes me as a perfect blend of creativity and calm. I picture myself cycling along Amsterdam’s canals, the water reflecting colorful, gabled houses as I head to the Van Gogh Museum to stand in front of Sunflowers, feeling the passion in every brushstroke. Beyond the city, I’m eager to visit Keukenhof in spring, where endless tulip fields in reds, yellows, and pinks would be a photographer’s dream. I’m curious about the Dutch way of life—how they’ve mastered balance, from their eco-friendly cities to cozy cafés serving stroopwafels. I want to visit historic towns like Utrecht or Delft, where time feels slower, and maybe even try my hand at a windmill tour to understand this innovative country’s past. The Netherlands feels like a place where art and serenity meet, and I want to soak it all in.
3. Ireland Ireland’s pull is almost mythical. I want to drive along the Wild Atlantic Way, with its green hills rolling into the sea and dramatic Cliffs of Moher rising against crashing waves. I’m captivated by Ireland’s ancient Celtic heritage—sites like Newgrange, older than the pyramids, make me want to trace the steps of ancestors. I can’t wait to settle into a Galway pub, where live music fills the air with fiddles and laughter, and locals share stories over a pint of Guinness. Ireland’s warmth, its blend of joy and melancholy in its music and poetry, feels like it would speak to my heart. Whether exploring Dublin’s literary haunts or hiking in Connemara, I want to feel the pulse of a land that’s both vibrant and timeless.
4. England and Wales (Great Britain) England and Wales together feel like a tapestry of history, culture, and adventure. In England, I’m drawn to London’s electric energy—standing in Trafalgar Square, visiting the British Museum, or catching a West End show. But I also crave the quiet of the Cotswolds, with its stone villages that look like they’re from a storybook. Stonehenge is a must, not just for its mystery but to feel the weight of thousands of years under my feet. I’m a bit of a literature nerd, so walking in the footsteps of Shakespeare in Stratford-upon-Avon or visiting Jane Austen’s Bath would be a dream. In Wales, I’m itching to explore Snowdonia’s peaks, maybe even try hiking up Yr Wyddfa (Snowdon) for a view that takes my breath away. Castles like Caernarfon and the Welsh language’s lyrical sound pull me to a culture that feels both proud and welcoming. England and Wales together promise a mix of bustling history and serene landscapes.
Why These Places Matter to Me
Each of these destinations feels like a chapter in a story I want to live. Scotland’s wild spirit, the Netherlands’ artistic calm, Ireland’s soulful warmth, and the rich, layered history of England and Wales—they all offer something unique yet connected. I’m chasing moments: the chill of a Scottish morning, the creak of a Dutch windmill, the laughter in an Irish pub, the ancient stones of a Welsh castle. These places feel like they’ll challenge me to see the world differently, to slow down and savor the beauty of cultures that have thrived for centuries.
Some moments in life feel destined, as if the universe has been weaving their threads long before we notice. For me, the dream of meeting Sam Heughan isn’t just a fleeting hope—it’s the ultimate gift, one that would mean more to me than anything in this vast cosmos. Yet, alongside this dream comes a quiet worry: if our paths ever crossed, I’d be so afraid of saying the wrong thing, of stumbling over words that might not capture the depth of my admiration. This fear isn’t unique to Sam—it’s a constant concern, especially online, where I connect with others and words can so easily be misunderstood. But life is unpredictable, and you never know where its winding roads might lead, bringing souls together in unexpected ways. To meet Sam, despite these worries and the limitations of his public life, would be a chance to be ourselves, to share reflections on life, and to connect through stories—especially his tales of growing up in Scotland.
To me, Sam is far more than an actor or a public figure. His humanity is a rare and precious gift, a beacon of kindness and authenticity that shines in a world often dimmed by pretense. It’s not something to be taken for granted or reduced to eye candy—it’s a quality so unique, so special, that it demands to be cherished. His warmth, his quiet strength, and his genuine care for others make him someone whose presence feels like a treasure. I long for a moment where we could simply be ourselves, free from the pressures of fame or my own anxieties about saying the right thing. I want to hear his point of view, his reflections on life, and his stories of growing up in the rugged beauty of Scotland, knowing they’d resonate with my love for meaningful connection.
This dream isn’t about autographs or fleeting fan encounters. It’s about the joy of sharing a conversation, of hearing how the misty hills of Galloway or the historic streets of Edinburgh shaped him. I’ve always wanted to visit Scotland, drawn to its breathtaking landscapes and rich history—the ancient castles, the timeless folklore, the vibrant culture that holds centuries of stories in every stone. Sam’s roots in that land make him the perfect person to bring its magic to life through his own experiences. I imagine us talking about the wild beauty of the Highlands, the lessons he learned as a boy, and the moments that made him who he is. In return, I’d share my own thoughts, my dreams of exploring Scotland’s storied past, and my hope to connect without fear of misspeaking. Life’s unpredictability makes such a meeting feel possible, even if distant, a reminder that paths can cross when least expected.
Sam’s humanity means more to me because it’s so distinctly his own. It’s not just kindness—it’s a deliberate choice to live with grace, to uplift others, and to stay grounded despite the spotlight. His dedication to causes like fitness and charity, his quiet protection of his privacy, and his ability to share his heart without losing himself all speak to a character that’s singular and irreplaceable. Meeting him would be a chance to express my gratitude for how his example has inspired me to live more authentically, to seek connection over isolation, and to never take a genuine soul for granted. It would be a moment to honor his spirit, not as something superficial, but as a profound force that shapes how I see the world.
I picture our meeting as something simple yet profound—a quiet moment, perhaps over a warm coffee or a dram of his Sassenach Whisky, where we could talk about life’s joys and challenges. I’d ask about his childhood in Scotland, the adventures that shaped him, and the history he’s witnessed in a land so rich with tradition. I’d share my own reflections, my longing to walk Scotland’s moors, and my hope to speak from the heart without fear of saying the wrong thing. It would be a conversation rooted in mutual respect, where we could enjoy each other’s perspectives, free from the constraints of fame or my own worries about words. Even online, where I connect with others and often fret about missteps, I’d want this moment to feel real, unfiltered, and true.
Meeting Sam would be the greatest gift in the universe because it would celebrate a humanity that’s truly special—a reminder that some souls shine so brightly, they inspire us to be our best selves. Despite the limitations of distance, schedules, or the complexities of his public life, I wish for a moment where we could simply be, sharing stories and reflections that bridge our worlds. My worry about saying the wrong thing, whether in person or online, would fade in the warmth of his kindness, replaced by the joy of connection. His tales of Scotland would bring me closer to a place I’ve always dreamed of, while his unique spirit would remind me to cherish the rare moments that make life extraordinary. Life’s unpredictability gives me hope that such a meeting could happen, that our paths might cross in some serendipitous way.
To meet Sam Heughan would be to say, “Thank you for being you,” and to carry that moment in my heart forever, a testament to the power of a soul that’s one of a kind. It would be a gift beyond measure, not just for the connection, but for the chance to overcome my fears, to embrace the unknown, and to celebrate the beauty of two souls meeting, wherever life may lead.
What are the most important things needed to live a good life?
What does a good life look like for me? It’s like framing the perfect shot with my camera—catching the light just right, finding the angle that feels honest. It’s not about money or fame, but about living in a way that lets my heart sing, like I’m twirling under a Highland sky or laughing with someone who feels like home.
First, I need relationships where I can be my true self, no filters needed. Like those late-night talks with a friend, sharing cheesy love songs or a 2 a.m. snack, where I don’t worry about being “too much.” Those moments, where I can ramble about my autistic way of seeing the world—like how light dances on water—or dive into a story without feeling judged, are my lifeline. They’re the warmth that holds me together, and I want to fill my life with people who see the real me.
Then there’s my empathy, this quiet gift I’ve always had. As a kid, I’d hug strangers because I could feel their sadness; now, it’s how I connect with horses, their steady presence making me feel safe. A good life means embracing that instinct—listening deeply, offering comfort, building bridges. It’s not just about others; it’s about how alive I feel when I’m there for someone.
Creativity is my heartbeat. Photography lets me tell stories, freezing moments of light and emotion like a scene from Outlander. A good life has room for that—wandering with my camera, chasing golden hour, making something that’s mine. Even with my cybersecurity work, I need these moments, because they’re when I’m most myself.
Freedom to be me is everything. Masking to fit in is exhausting, like dimming a flame. A good life means finding spaces—friends, work, or just solo time—where my autistic self is enough. Where I can geek out about light patterns or romantic tales without feeling “weird.” That freedom is where I thrive.
I also want experiences that spark joy, not just things. A spontaneous adventure—like dancing in the rain or stargazing with someone special—beats any fancy gadget. Those heart-racing, rom-com-worthy moments are what I’ll carry forever. I want a life woven with them, whether it’s a far-off trip or a quiet laugh shared over coffee.
Balance is tough but crucial. My cybersecurity degree pays the bills, but my soul lives in photography and storytelling. A good life blends both—using my skills to support my dreams without letting them drown out what I love. It’s about small steps toward a life where I’m not just getting by but truly creating.
Finally, nature keeps me grounded. Horses, open fields, the hush of a forest—it’s where my intuition wakes up. A good life includes time there, whether I’m riding, walking, or just sitting somewhere green, feeling the earth’s pulse.
To build this life, I’ll start now: plan a photography day this month, have a heart-to-heart with a friend, and try one new way to be unapologetically me, like sharing a quirky idea at work. A good life grows from these moments, and I’m ready to nurture them.
My newest creation.my rabbit photo and AI background I made to go with it.
My heart is alight with profound admiration as Sam prepares to embody Macbeth, a role within Shakespeare’s masterpiece that holds a special place in my soul. Macbeth, my cherished favorite, paints a vivid tapestry of the human spirit—its ambition, its torment, its fragile dance with fate. Through its haunting imagery—shadowy prophecies, blood-stained hands, and restless ghosts—it unveils the raw unraveling of a man caught between valor and ruin. This poignant exploration of inner turmoil, where desire battles conscience, resonates deeply with me, reflecting the complexities of our shared humanity. To know Sam is stepping into this intricate role fills me with awe, for his heart and artistry are perfectly suited to breathe life into this timeless tragedy.
Sam, your radiant soul, so full of kindness and authenticity, shines like a beacon, and I feel its warmth even from afar. Your dedication to this craft, your ability to embrace both strength and vulnerability, promises a Macbeth that will stir hearts and linger in minds. I see in you the same depth that makes this play so meaningful—a shared understanding of life’s beauty and its shadows. This role is not just a performance; it’s a testament to your courage to delve into the human condition, mirroring the empathy and passion you inspire in those around you, including me.
As you take the stage, my heart walks with you, Sam, lifted by the privilege of witnessing your brilliance in a story that means so much to me. Your portrayal will undoubtedly weave a connection between us all, a gift of unity and understanding that only you could offer.
I believed Sam Heughan represents everything I love and respect about Scotland. He isn’t just Scottish by birth—he carries his heritage with a sense of pride, authenticity, and humility that makes it even more special. He doesn’t just showcase Scotland through his work; he genuinely lives and breathes it, whether it’s through Outlander, his whisky The Sassenach, or his love for the outdoors. There’s something incredibly grounding about the way he speaks about his homeland, not as a celebrity but as someone who deeply appreciates where he comes from.
I’ve always had a deep love for Scotland, and Scottish culture has always been my favorite of the Celtic traditions. There’s something about its rich history, its breathtaking landscapes, and the simplicity and warmth of its people that I have such great affection for. Sam embodies all of that in such a natural and humble way.
My birthday wish and college graduation wish would be to spend an entire week just talking to him, getting to know him, and immersing myself in his beautiful heritage. He is so beautiful in every way—I honestly don’t know how else to describe it. What I do know is that he is one man who moves me emotionally in a way that few ever have, especially through Outlander. His presence, his passion, and the depth of his performances have left such a mark on me.
It would be one of the greatest honors of my life if I ever had the chance to cross his path before I get too old. And hey, I’m only 40—so there’s still time, right? 🤭😂😅☺️😇 hahaha I hope so. After all, I don’t wish things like that very often and life is not exactly a full surprises.
If there’s one place in the world, besides the enchanting island of Kauai, Hawaii, that I yearn to visit first, it would undoubtedly be Scotland. From a young age, my fascination with Scottish culture was kindled by attending the Celtic festival in Arizona with my sister. This annual event was more than just a celebration; it was a gateway to a world steeped in tradition and history, igniting a lifelong dream to explore the rugged beauty of Scotland.
The allure of Scotland is undeniable. The thought of wandering through the majestic Highlands, with their rolling hills and mist-covered landscapes, fills me with a sense of adventure and wonder. I am eager to delve into the art of whiskey-making, to understand the craftsmanship and dedication that goes into creating Scotland’s renowned spirits. The rich tapestry of Scottish history, folklore, poetry, and literature beckons me to immerse myself in its depths, to walk in the footsteps of legendary figures like Robert the Bruce, who has long been one of my favorite historical icons.
Sam Heughan, the actor known for his role in “Outlander,” often speaks of Scotland’s magnetic charm, and I couldn’t agree more. There is something about this land that captivates the imagination and draws people from all corners of the globe, including America, to dream of visiting and perhaps even making it their home. The simplicity of life in Scotland, where one can connect with nature, explore new horizons, and embark on a journey of self-discovery, is a powerful allure.
In Scotland, I envision a place where I can find peace and clarity, away from the hustle and bustle of modern life. It is a land where the past and present coexist harmoniously, offering a unique blend of cultural richness and natural beauty. As I dream of this journey, I hold onto the hope that one day I will set foot on Scottish soil, ready to embrace all that this remarkable country has to offer.
I want to pursue a career as a Visual Storyteller because it’s the perfect intersection of my passions for photography, graphic design, and blogging—a path that lets me capture the world’s beauty, create with purpose, and connect with others in a way that feels deeply authentic. This career isn’t just a job; it’s a calling to weave together visuals and words to inspire, uplift, and build a community grounded in kindness and creativity. It’s about seeing the world through a lens of wonder and sharing that vision to make others feel something real.
Photography, to me, is like capturing a heartbeat. Whether it’s the delicate shimmer of a tiny frog nestled in a rose, the fleeting glow of a sunset over a quiet valley, or the unguarded smile of someone lost in a moment, photography lets me freeze time and hold onto what makes life extraordinary. It’s not just about technical skill—though I love mastering my camera and editing tools like Lightroom—it’s about noticing the small, fleeting details that others might overlook. As a Visual Storyteller, I want my photographs to evoke emotion, to remind people of the beauty in the everyday, and to spark a sense of connection to the world around them.
Graphic design is where my imagination takes flight. It’s the thrill of transforming an idea into a visual that pops—a logo that captures a brand’s soul, a social media post that stops someone mid-scroll, or a poster that tells a story at a glance. I’m drawn to the challenge of blending colors, typography, and textures in tools like Adobe Illustrator or Canva to create something that’s both beautiful and meaningful. It’s hard work, requiring precision and endless tweaking, but that process feels like a puzzle I was born to solve. As a Visual Storyteller, design is my way of giving ideas a voice, making the intangible feel vivid and alive.
Blogging is the thread that ties my creativity together, letting me share my heart and mind with the world. It’s where I can write about the story behind a photoshoot, the inspiration for a design, or a moment in nature that left me in awe—like the way a single leaf can hold a universe of patterns. Blogging isn’t just about words; it’s about building a space where people feel seen and inspired. I want to share tips, stories, and reflections that resonate with others who crave authenticity, whether they’re creatives, dreamers, or just people who love beauty as much as I do. As a Visual Storyteller, my blog will be a canvas for connection, a place to foster a community that values kindness, creativity, and the courage to chase what sets your soul on fire.
This career speaks to me because it demands both heart and hustle, qualities I admire in myself and others. It’s not about chasing glamour—it’s about the grit of learning new editing techniques at midnight, the patience of revising a design until it’s just right, or the vulnerability of sharing a personal story on my blog. I’m inspired by people like Sam Heughan, who pour authenticity and hard work into their craft, and I want to bring that same dedication to my work. As a Visual Storyteller, I see a future where my photos, designs, and words create a ripple effect—encouraging others to notice the beauty around them, to create with intention, and to connect with kindness.
Ultimately, I want to build a career that’s a reflection of who I am: someone who finds joy in the small moments, who believes in the power of creativity to uplift, and who wants to leave the world a little brighter. As a Visual Storyteller, I’ll weave together photography, graphic design, and blogging to tell stories that matter—to me, to my audience, and to the world.
Deep Thinking 