When I think about my first crush, my mind goes back to my ex-husband, long before he became my ex. He was my world then—charming, familiar, everything I thought I wanted in a man. I poured my heart into that love, believing it was the shape of forever. But life has a way of teaching us, doesn’t it? We grew apart, our paths diverged, and I learned that love, as beautiful as it feels, sometimes needs more than just a spark to endure. That chapter closed, but it left me wiser, with a clearer sense of who I am and what matters to me.
Now, at this point in my life, I find myself with a new crush—one that feels a little silly to admit, but it’s real and it brings me joy. It’s a celebrity crush, on Sam Heughan. I know it’s not the kind of love you build a life on, but there’s something about him that speaks to my heart. It’s not just his charm or the way he lights up a screen as Jamie Fraser in Outlander. It’s deeper than that. It’s the way he carries himself—his kindness, his authenticity, the way he seems to live with purpose and heart.
Sam feels like a reflection of the values I hold dear: sincerity, resilience, and a quiet strength that doesn’t need to shout to be felt. I admire how he’s stayed grounded despite fame, how he shares glimpses of his Scottish roots with such pride, and how he treats people with warmth and respect. There’s a humanity to him that feels rare, like he’s someone who’d sit down for a coffee or a dram of whisky and listen, really listen, to your story. That’s what draws me in—the idea of someone who values connection, who sees the world with a sense of wonder and gratitude.
Maybe it’s silly to have a crush on someone so far removed from my everyday life, but it’s also a reminder of what I aspire to: living openly, loving deeply, and staying true to who I am. Sam represents a spark of inspiration, a nudge to keep my heart open to possibility, whether that’s in love or in the way I move through the world. My first crush taught me about love’s highs and lows, but this crush? It’s teaching me to dream again, to find joy in the little moments of admiration, and to hold onto the values that make me,
Since the end of my marriage, Sam Heughan has become my first crush in a while, and it’s something that always brings me joy.
Chris Pine has always seemed like an actor who rejects Hollywood’s shallow glitz. From his commanding role as Captain James T. Kirk in Star Trek (2009) to his bold directorial debut as Darren Barrenman in Poolman (2023), Pine has built a reputation for valuing authenticity over fame’s fleeting allure. He’s called Hollywood a “cyclone of insanity” (The Hollywood Reporter, 2014) and praised roles like Bernie Webber in The Finest Hours (2016) for their selfless depth (DuJour, 2016). Yet, his relationship with Keana Sky Wenger, a 29-year-old designer 15 years his junior, feels like a betrayal of those principles. Their appearances at glamorous fashion events and questions about her career shift evoke the Hollywood clichés Pine claims to shun, leaving a sense of disappointment in his apparent hypocrisy.
A Romance That Raises Questions
Now 44, Pine has been dating Wenger since late 2022 or early 2023, first seen together on a romantic boat trip in Portofino, Italy, in August 2023 (Lainey Gossip, 2024). They’ve since attended high-profile events, including the Ralph Lauren Purple Label Spring 2025 show in Milan (June 2024) and a Brunello Cucinelli dinner at Chateau Marmont in early December 2024 (Just Jared, 2024). Their most recent sighting, holding hands in New York City on December 10, 2024, confirms their ongoing bond (Just Jared, 2024; Daily Mail, 2024). It’s a classic Hollywood love story: a charismatic star and a young designer stepping into the spotlight.
But this narrative jars with Pine’s ethos. He’s dismissed talk show interviews as “bullsh*t” (ELLE, 2016) and criticized Hollywood’s ego-driven culture (The Hollywood Reporter, 2014). So, why is he now at glitzy fashion events with a partner young enough to be his daughter? The 15-year age gap isn’t the main issue—it’s how Wenger’s transition from restaurant hostess to fashion designer aligns suspiciously with their public outings, suggesting a disconnect from Pine’s anti-superficial stance.
Authenticity Under Scrutiny
Pine’s interviews highlight his commitment to substance. He’s described his career as “following the giggle,” choosing roles like Steve Trevor in Wonder Woman (2017) for their joy over commercial success (IndieWire, 2022). He called Poolman (2023) “free jazz” for its raw humanity, embracing its critical failure as a lesson in authenticity (NPR Wild Card, 2024). He’s also championed compassionate storytelling, praising Wonder Woman’s female-led narrative: “Time for female perspective in movies, men are not all that smart” (Inquirer.net, 2017). These statements reflect a rejection of Hollywood’s shallow norms.
Yet, his relationship with Wenger feels like a step into that world. Before meeting Pine, Wenger worked as a hostess at Saffy’s in Los Angeles (Newsweek, 2024). After their relationship went public, she left that job and began appearing at elite fashion events, now described as a “fashion designer” (SheKnows, 2024). The timing is notable: her career shift followed events like the Ralph Lauren show and the Chateau Marmont dinner, where she mingled with stars like Oprah and Sharon Stone (Just Jared, 2024). This raises a question: is Wenger using Pine’s fame to boost her design career? The optics suggest she’s tapping into exclusive circles, clashing with Pine’s disdain for Hollywood’s superficiality.
Hollywood Tropes and the Age Gap
The 15-year age gap amplifies the unease. While age-gap relationships aren’t inherently problematic, they often mirror Hollywood’s cliché of older male stars with younger women. Pine, who’s spoken about “living the questions” and embracing life’s uncertainties (Factinate, 2018), doesn’t seem like someone who’d fall into this trope. His prior relationship with actress Annabelle Wallis (2018-2022), closer in age, felt more like an equal partnership (SheKnows, 2024). With Wenger, the dynamic seems different, especially as her career aspirations align with their public appearances.
Pine’s embrace of a relationship that echoes Hollywood’s stereotypical power dynamics is disappointing, given his advocacy for authenticity. The fashion world’s focus on image contrasts with the grounded values he’s expressed, like his admiration for the selfless hero in The Finest Hours (2016) (DuJour, 2016). Events like the Brunello Cucinelli dinner feel like a shift from his “free jazz” ethos to a polished, red-carpet moment.
A Counterperspective
To be fair, Pine’s bond with Wenger may be genuine. He’s fiercely private, once flipping off a paparazzo to protect his personal space (GQ, 2009). Their two-year relationship suggests commitment, not a publicity stunt. Perhaps Pine sees authenticity in Wenger, aligning with his “following the giggle” philosophy (IndieWire, 2022). Her career shift could reflect ambition, not opportunism, and Pine might be supporting her dreams, much like he’s backed meaningful narratives in Wonder Woman (2017). Comparisons to Matt Damon and Luciana Barroso, who met when she was a bartender, show such dynamics can be authentic (SheKnows, 2024). Still, these points don’t fully dispel the sense that Pine is leaning into the superficiality he’s criticized.
Why It Matters
This disappointment goes beyond Pine’s personal choices—it’s about what they represent. For those who admired his rejection of Hollywood’s shallow norms, seeing him embrace a relationship steeped in its clichés is disheartening. The age gap, fashion-world glamour, and questions about Wenger’s motives amplify the perception of hypocrisy. Pine’s words, calling for compassion and authenticity (NPR Wild Card, 2024), set a high standard that his current path seems to miss. Hopefully, he’ll return to projects like Star Trek or Poolman that reflect his grounded spirit. For now, one wonders: is Pine still “following the giggle” or chasing a different tune?
References
• DuJour. (2016). Chris Pine on The Finest Hours and his Hollywood life. Retrieved from [DuJour website].
• ELLE. (2016). Chris Pine says talk show interviews are “bullsh*t.” Retrieved from [ELLE website].
• Factinate. (2018). Chris Pine on life’s uncertainties and living the questions. Retrieved from [Factinate website].
• GQ. (2009). Chris Pine flips off paparazzo. Retrieved from [GQ website].
• IndieWire. (2022). Chris Pine on “following the giggle” in his career choices. Retrieved from [IndieWire website].
• Inquirer.net. (2017). Chris Pine: “Time for female perspective in movies, men are not all that smart.” Retrieved from [Inquirer.net website].
How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?
I know it’s time to unplug when my soul feels heavy, like the constant buzz of screens is drowning out my inner voice. As someone who treasures authenticity and emotional depth, I sense it when I’m drifting from what grounds me—when I’m no longer fully present in the moment. It’s like a quiet call to return to what’s real.
To make it happen, I lean into nature’s embrace. Since I have to carry my phone, I tuck it away deep in my pocket, far from reach, and head out for a walk in the woods or by a stream. The crunch of leaves underfoot or the soft ripple of water pulls me back to the present. I might pause to journal my thoughts or sketch a fleeting scene—a tree’s shadow, a bird in flight—capturing the beauty that speaks to me. These simple acts feel like a reset, reconnecting me to my core.
I also find unplugging easier with someone who shares my love for life’s quiet wonders—a friend to wander with, sharing dreams or just soaking in the stillness together. It’s about carving out space for what’s genuine, whether alone or in good company. That’s when I feel recharged, ready to face the world with a clearer, more open heart.
This morning I found myself weeping in my sleep. I woke up and looked around, wishing for that love I’ve longed for a long time now. As I sit here, enveloped in the calm of my own thoughts, I feel a gentle tug of patience pulling at my heartstrings. I’m waiting, not just for time to pass, but for the best that God wants to bring into my life.
There’s this beautiful, serene anticipation inside me, like I’m watching for the first light of dawn after a long night. I trust, deeply and truly, that what I’m waiting for isn’t just good—it’s the very best, tailored just for me by divine hands.
I feel this peace in my waiting, a peace that’s not about the ticking clock but about preparing my heart. It’s learning to release my own desires and schedules, embracing instead the perfect timing of God.
Yes, there are moments of doubt, fleeting shadows that question if what I hope for will ever come. But then, my faith shines through, reminding me that God’s vision for my life is far more magnificent than anything I could plan. Maybe my doubts are because I feel like I’ve lost a lot in my life. When I was in between my thirties and twenties, I had a miscarriage, not even knowing I was pregnant at the time. Then later, losing my dad unexpectedly to a car accident, being forced to give up one of my dogs because my wish for him to stay inside until I got home wasn’t respected, and the fencing was already on its way to be delivered. Then ending up getting divorced, scammed by someone online, being forced to move out without letting me have time to look for a reasonable place, and losing my cat of 18 years to old age and possible cancer.
Yet, it’s hard not to want to long for that missing piece of my heart… my other half who would understand my mind, heart, and soul.
I imagine the joy, the immense satisfaction when what God has prepared for me finally unfolds. It’s like waiting for the perfect chord after hearing discordant notes for too long. This wait isn’t just about receiving; it’s about becoming. Becoming more patient, more faithful, more aligned with the divine plan.
Here I am, in this beautiful space of anticipation, trusting, believing, and knowing that what I’m waiting for is being crafted by the divine. It’s not just about waiting; it’s about preparing my soul, my life, for the best that God has chosen for me. And in this space, I find not just patience, but peace, not just waiting, but living fully in the promise of what’s to come.
To everyone who’s ever found a spark to guide them through tough times, I want to share how Sam Heughan turned my childhood love for Celtic cultures into a source of inspiration that’s carried me forward. As a kid with mild autism, I was enchanted by Celtic traditions—Scottish clans, myths of ancient heroes, and the haunting beauty of the Highlands. Those stories of misty moors and brave warriors were my safe haven, a place where my imagination thrived when social connections felt like a puzzle. Long before I discovered Outlander, that Celtic spark gave me a sense of belonging. In the last few years, when life grew heavy, Sam Heughan’s authenticity and heart became a beacon, inspiring me to find hope and strength.
Before Outlander entered my life, Celtic culture was my quiet escape, a world of bagpipes and legends that felt alive. When I finally saw Sam as Jamie Fraser, it was like my childhood dreams took flight. His portrayal, rich with Scottish pride and raw emotion, brought the Celtic spirit I loved to life. Sam’s dedication—learning Gaelic, embodying a warrior’s depth—mirrored my own intense focus on what matters to me, a trait tied to my autism. His ability to show Jamie’s strength and vulnerability inspired me to be braver about sharing my heart, even when words feel hard. It gave me hope for a connection—friendship or maybe a love as fierce as Jamie and Claire’s—where someone truly sees me, quirks and all, something I’ve struggled to find these past few years.
The last few years have been hard and challenging. I’ve felt unseen, longing for someone who values me fully, but haven’t found that person yet. My job has been ungrateful, draining my energy and leaving little room for the joy and self-care I need. Through it all, Sam’s connection to nature has been a lifeline. I’ve always found peace in a sunset’s glow or a forest’s whisper, moments that ground me when life overwhelms. His book Waypoints, with its reflections on finding clarity in Scotland’s wild places, feels like he’s speaking my language. The Celtic landscapes I dreamed of as a kid are alive in him, and they inspire me to keep seeking solace in nature. His My Peak Challenge has shown me that my walks can be more than escapes—they’re steps toward healing, resilience, and rediscovering joy, even when self-care feels out of reach.
Sam’s kindness is the heart of his inspiration. From championing Blood Cancer UK to pouring his soul into Sassenach Spirits, his authenticity shines. That Celtic pride I loved as a child radiates through him, inspiring me to hold onto my passions—creativity, nature, being true to myself—despite the weight of an unfulfilling job or loneliness. Living with autism can bring self-doubt, but Sam’s example shows me that authenticity is a strength. He’s inspired me to keep pushing for joy, to believe I can find people who see me, and to trust that small acts of courage—like a walk or a kind gesture—can light the way.
To all of you, my childhood love for Celtic cultures was just the beginning. Through the challenges of these past few years, Sam Heughan has inspired me to keep seeking connection, joy, and my true self. His light reminds me that no matter how dark the path, we can find sparks—in stories, nature, or kindness—to guide us toward hope. I hope you find your own spark, someone like Sam, to lift you up and inspire you to shine.
Sam Heughan is my piece of heaven because he embodies a rare, radiant light that feels like it was crafted just for my heart. His soul, a luminous beacon, stirs something deep within me, awakening a sense of wonder and connection that feels celestial, like a star burning brightly across galaxies. His smile—warm as sunlight, comforting as a cozy blanket—lifts my spirit and softens the edges of the world, reminding me to find joy in every moment. It’s a smile that feels like a familiar song, a gentle nudge to embrace life’s beauty, radiating a warmth that could light up the universe.
His authenticity is a grounding force, like the rugged Scottish landscapes he cherishes. Whether he’s pouring his heart into Jamie Fraser, learning Gaelic, or hiking the Highlands, Sam’s dedication to his craft and heritage mirrors the way I find solace in my own passions, like nature’s embrace. His gentle strength, seen in his tireless work for causes like Blood Cancer UK, inspires me to keep going, to see beauty in every step and stumble of my unique path. His kindness—signing autographs in the rain, uplifting fans with his genuine care—feels like a quiet promise that goodness still thrives.
Sam’s romantic optimism, his poetic outlook on love and vulnerability, speaks to my yearning for a deep, creative connection. He’s both grounded and adventurous, balancing the tranquility of nature with a curious spirit that makes me dream of a partner who sees life’s wonders the way he does. In his presence—through his words, his roles, or his reflections in Waypoints—I feel understood, as if he’s a friend who sees the world through a lens of hope and heart, much like I do. His ability to push through self-doubt and stay true to himself resonates with my own journey, making me feel less alone in navigating life’s challenges.
To me, Sam Heughan is a piece of heaven because he’s a reminder that authenticity, kindness, and passion can light up even the darkest corners. His soul, his smile, his unwavering heart—they’re a celestial gift, a spark that makes my world feel brighter, warmer, and infinitely more beautiful.
From the time I was a young kid, the weather has held me spellbound, a wild and awe-inspiring force that both captivates and humbles me. I can still recall the thrill of working on a middle school report about tornadoes, diving deep into their chaotic beauty and untamed power. My teacher raised an eyebrow, suggesting to my dad that I should’ve done it alone, but the truth is, I poured my heart into that project—my dad just helped me polish my ideas. That experience wasn’t just a school assignment; it lit a fire in me, sparking a lifelong reverence for Mother Nature, one of my greatest inspirations, a boundless muse whose storms, serenity, and raw beauty fuel my creativity and remind me of the deep, healing connection we share with the world around us.
When I first picked up a camera, my passion for nature found a new outlet. I dreamed of chasing storms, not just to capture their swirling formations but to preserve fleeting moments of nature’s raw, unfiltered spirit. Storms have a haunting duality—they can devastate, leaving heartbreak in their wake, yet their towering clouds and electric energy are undeniably beautiful. Through my lens, I see tornadoes as a reminder of how much we take for granted, urging us to pause and respect the forces that shape our world. Mother Nature doesn’t bow to our plans; she demands our attention, teaching us resilience and humility through her breathtaking artistry.
Beyond storms, nature in all its forms has always been my refuge. To me, nature is the greatest medicine a human being could ever have. Whether it’s the roar of thunder, the gentle rustle of leaves, or the quiet calm of a forest after rain, being immersed in the natural world feels like a reset for the soul. It heals, it grounds, it reminds me who I am. The nature of humanity and the natural world are intertwined in countless ways—through the air we breathe, the landscapes that shape our stories, and the moments of wonder that bind us to something greater. Every time I’m out there, camera in hand, I feel that connection, like I’m part of a larger story written by the earth itself.
Photography, for me, is more than a craft; it’s a way to tell stories that stir the heart, to capture the fleeting beauty of the world and share it with others. Inspired by those who live with purpose and authenticity, I want my work to reflect that same depth, to show the fierce elegance of a storm or the quiet grace of a sunrise. Mother Nature, as one of my muses, guides me to create with intention, to stay rooted in what’s real, and to honor the world’s beauty and power. Her lessons go beyond her storms—they’re in the way she calls us to live more fully, to respect her boundaries, and to find healing and meaning in every moment, no matter how fleeting.
When it comes to what I admire most in a friend, it’s all about them being real. I want someone who’s just themselves, no masks, no pretending—just straight-up authentic. Kindness is huge for me; I love people who are thoughtful, who show they care through the little things, like checking in when I’m down or just listening without judgment. A good friend’s got to be loyal, someone I can count on to have my back, whether things are going great or falling apart.
I really connect with folks who share my passions—like being out in nature, soaking in the beauty of a hike, or diving into deep, creative conversations that make you feel alive. I admire friends who get that balance between being curious about the world and staying grounded, not getting lost in fluff. Also that having Trust builds slow, through those small, genuine moments, not some big show.
Emotionally, I need a friend who’s there to lift me up—someone who’s cheering for me when I’m chasing my dreams and holding space for me when life gets heavy. I’m drawn to people with a kind of romantic, hopeful vibe, who see the good in things but still keep it real. Above all, I admire friends who live with empathy and a sense of unity—people who get that we’re all in this together, building connections that feel warm, true, and harmonious. That’s the kind of friend I vibe with.
“I hope people say that I’m a beacon of authenticity and inspiration, someone who encourages them to embrace their true selves with courage and vulnerability, just as I pour my heart into my creative work. I want them to see me as an artist and storyteller who captures the raw, unfiltered beauty of life—whether it’s through a photograph, a written narrative, or a moment of genuine connection—and inspires them to find and share their own stories. I hope they describe me as warm, empathetic, and deeply invested in the people and world around me, always striving to build relationships that are real, meaningful, and uplifting. Like the artists and individuals I admire, such as Sam Heughan, who embody passion and integrity, I want to be remembered as someone who lives with purpose, creating work that resonates emotionally and sparks others to pursue their passions fearlessly. Ultimately, I hope people say that my presence—through my art, my words, or simply the way I listen and connect—leaves them feeling seen, valued, and motivated to live more fully in their own truth.
Deep Thinking 