“I’m in my early 40s now, and I often find myself dreaming about settling down with someone who’s just as down-to-earth as I am. I’ve always been pretty patient, even with all the curveballs life has thrown my way. But these past few years? They’ve been a real test. I was with a guy for three years before we tied the knot, and we stayed married for eight. We moved to Ohio, but somewhere along the line, we just lost our connection, and I found myself in a marriage where love was missing. Before all that, I lost my dad in a horrible car accident, which broke my heart in ways I can’t even describe. And then, I had to part with one of my dogs because no one listened when I said he needed a fenced yard. He got into a scuffle with a neighbor’s dog, though thankfully, the neighbor was kind about it, understanding it was an accident.
After my marriage ended, I had to start over quicker than I’d planned. With a job in retail and the economy being what it is, I knew I’d have a hard time. I tried to explain this to my ex-mother-in-law, but she went ahead and bought a house for me to rent from her without asking if it was what I wanted. I was grateful for her help, but it also left me feeling pretty alone and misunderstood.
Before all that, I fell for a scam that took away money I’d worked hard for, landing me in debt. My uncle was there for me, helping me file for bankruptcy under
. I still kick myself for being so naive, but I guess I was just desperate for some support. There’s this deep longing inside me to find someone who loves me for who I am, who wants to build a life and maybe a family with me. I’ve had people tell me I should lose weight, and there’s even been worry that any kids I might have could inherit autism.
I’m not perfect, far from it, and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But through it all, I’ve learned how vital it is to be genuine, honest, and open. When you meet someone, there should be this deep connection, an understanding, and a bond that goes beyond words.
I’m not usually one to spill my guts like this, but I think it’s important for people to know we’re all human, we all screw up. Sharing our stories, whether face-to-face or online, helps us connect, and reminds us we’re not each other’s enemies.
My hope now is that when I move to California to be near my family, I’ll meet that one guy who captures not just my heart but my soul and mind too. I want someone who’ll sweep me off my feet like the wind, someone I can protect as much as he protects me. I crave the simplicity of life with him, the quiet moments untouched by the world’s chaos. I yearn for those deep, meaningful conversations that I feel I can’t live without. I might be old-fashioned at heart, even if I’m pretty good with tech. I just hope that man out there isn’t too scared to find me, even when I’m not looking.”
Deep Thinking 