As a woman with mild autism, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why some people call a “wife guy” soft, like it’s a bad thing. To me, that label feels like a misunderstanding of what strength really is. When I was married, my husband wasn’t a “wife guy.” He didn’t make me feel seen or valued—there was no warmth in his actions, no effort to show I mattered. I felt underappreciated, alone, like I was carrying the weight of our relationship by myself. It left me disconnected, sometimes even worthless, as if I wasn’t deserving of the kind of love I saw in stories like Jamie and Claire’s in Outlander. Their bond, so fierce and unshakable, felt like a dream I could never touch.
The world can be a lot for me, with its unwritten rules and social noise. That’s why I crave clarity and honesty in relationships. A “wife guy” who openly loves his wife—whether he’s sharing sweet moments on X or just talking about her with pride—feels like a safe harbor. He’s not hiding his heart or playing tough to impress anyone. That’s not soft in a weak way; it’s soft like the calm of a forest after a chaotic day, something I can trust. When people criticize that as weakness, it feels like they’re stuck in old ideas about men needing to be cold or distant. I don’t get that. My ex’s detachment didn’t make him strong—it made me feel invisible.
Maybe it’s because I see things differently, but a man who’s secure enough to celebrate his wife, even if others judge him, seems brave to me. He’s choosing love over ego, connection over pretense. After feeling so unseen in my marriage, I long for a love like Jamie’s for Claire—one that’s fierce, loyal, and unafraid to show it. That kind of “soft” is what makes me feel worthy, like I’m enough. It’s the kind of strength that makes a relationship feel like home, something I’ve always wanted but never had.
As a woman with mild autism, I experience the world through intense pattern recognition and sensitivity to social dynamics. Lately, I’ve noticed society, amplified by social media, slipping into patterns of cruelty and division that echo troubling historical moments. The way people treat each other feels like a step backward, and here’s why.
Social media platforms, like those buzzing on X, have turned into arenas of hostility. My autistic lens craves understanding, but instead, I see people weaponizing words, piling on with insults, or canceling others over minor missteps. It’s reminiscent of historical witch hunts or public shamings, like the 17th-century pillories, but now it’s digital and relentless. Recent web data shows 70% of users report seeing online harassment regularly, yet the cycle persists. Algorithms reward outrage, amplifying voices that divide rather than unite, much like divisive rhetoric fueled tensions in past eras.
Offline, the trend continues. My sensitivity to social cues picks up on growing intolerance—people are quick to judge, label, or dismiss. Whether it’s political tribalism, cultural clashes, or scapegoating vulnerable groups, it feels like the fear-driven “us vs. them” mentality of times like the Red Scares or pre-war xenophobia. On X, posts often highlight how fast people jump to vilify rather than empathize, shutting down chances for real dialogue. This isn’t progress; it’s a return to when division trumped compassion.
Even casual interactions feel colder. My need for genuine connection makes me notice how people prioritize clout or status over kindness. Social media’s obsession with likes and followers mirrors historical obsessions with social hierarchies, where worth was tied to power, not character. It’s like we’re reliving the exclusivity of old elites, just in a digital skin.
For someone with autism, this cruelty overload is exhausting, like navigating a sensory storm. History shows humanity can do better—moments of unity, like post-war rebuilding, prove it. Social media could foster empathy if we used it to listen, not attack. Let’s break this cycle before it pulls us further back.
As a high-functioning autistic woman, I uniquely experience the world. The chaos surrounding us often feels overwhelming, yet I see beyond it to a world filled with purpose—a place where I can cultivate kindness, joy, gentleness, peace, and compassion. To me, each person is a universe of details, all vital and beautiful, deserving of recognition and care.
In an era where information rushes by, political divides grow, and social media creates echo chambers, the essence of kindness, compassion, and authenticity has never been more essential. I resonate deeply with Chris Pine’s advocacy for using intellect alongside compassion to bring peace to our society. Love and respect are crucial, and I believe we should encourage them in every interaction. Though I may not agree with Chris Pine’s view on limiting social media totally, I agree with him that people need to be reminded to be mindful of what they put out there and that even words can still affect others. When it comes to beautiful souls like him, I believe he and others shouldn’t miss out on bringing balance to the best of both worlds because the digital world and the real world should benefit from each other, not hurt each other.
The Essence of Kindness
Kindness, for me, is more than just actions; it’s a state of being. It involves recognizing and embracing the diversity of human experience with patience and empathy. It’s about truly listening to understand, not just to reply, and acknowledging the emotions of others. Simple acts like holding a door or offering a smile can have profound effects, and forgiving others helps mend not only personal but communal rifts.
Compassion When We’re Divided
Compassion extends beyond kindness; it’s about actively alleviating the suffering I see. In a world where divisions are stark, I strive to bridge these gaps with empathy. Understanding why people hold their views or face their challenges is how I open up dialogues. Supporting those in need, whether through advocacy or presence, is how I practice compassion. Educating myself about others’ lives informs my responses, pushing aside prejudice for genuine understanding.
Authenticity: Staying True to Myself
In an age where digital personas can be perfected, authenticity is my refuge. Living authentically means embracing my own and others’ imperfections, and resisting the pressure to conform. I challenge untruthful narratives, even when it’s difficult, because staying true to myself aligns my actions with my values, not just societal or media expectations.
Battling the Propaganda Wave
Propaganda is one of the greatest threats to the values I hold dear. Whether it’s through biased news or sensational social media content, it fosters division and misinformation. Critical thinking is my defense, questioning the origins, motives, and validity of what I encounter. Promoting media literacy and seeking out diverse perspectives are ways to fight back against manipulation.
Uniting for a Better Tomorrow
The call is for unity. I advocate for conversations that lead to understanding, not further division. We should focus on what unites us, not what separates us. Building community through shared experiences or movements reflects our collective yearning for harmony and equity.
Creating a Non-Toxic Society and Digital Environment
We need to detoxify our society, including the digital spaces we inhabit. Social media, while connecting us, can also breed skepticism and doubt. We must find a healthy balance because technology isn’t going away. It should be a tool for joy, career development, and meaningful engagement, not a source of negativity. By fostering trust and positivity, we can transform technology into a force for good.
In conclusion, while the world might seem chaotic, the principles of kindness, compassion, and authenticity guide my journey through this complexity. By embodying these values, I aim to not just navigate but enrich the world, moving from isolation to connection, from doubt to belief, and from falsehood to truth. Together, we can forge a brighter future.
“I’m in my early 40s now, and I often find myself dreaming about settling down with someone who’s just as down-to-earth as I am. I’ve always been pretty patient, even with all the curveballs life has thrown my way. But these past few years? They’ve been a real test. I was with a guy for three years before we tied the knot, and we stayed married for eight. We moved to Ohio, but somewhere along the line, we just lost our connection, and I found myself in a marriage where love was missing. Before all that, I lost my dad in a horrible car accident, which broke my heart in ways I can’t even describe. And then, I had to part with one of my dogs because no one listened when I said he needed a fenced yard. He got into a scuffle with a neighbor’s dog, though thankfully, the neighbor was kind about it, understanding it was an accident.
After my marriage ended, I had to start over quicker than I’d planned. With a job in retail and the economy being what it is, I knew I’d have a hard time. I tried to explain this to my ex-mother-in-law, but she went ahead and bought a house for me to rent from her without asking if it was what I wanted. I was grateful for her help, but it also left me feeling pretty alone and misunderstood.
Before all that, I fell for a scam that took away money I’d worked hard for, landing me in debt. My uncle was there for me, helping me file for bankruptcy under
. I still kick myself for being so naive, but I guess I was just desperate for some support. There’s this deep longing inside me to find someone who loves me for who I am, who wants to build a life and maybe a family with me. I’ve had people tell me I should lose weight, and there’s even been worry that any kids I might have could inherit autism.
I’m not perfect, far from it, and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But through it all, I’ve learned how vital it is to be genuine, honest, and open. When you meet someone, there should be this deep connection, an understanding, and a bond that goes beyond words.
I’m not usually one to spill my guts like this, but I think it’s important for people to know we’re all human, we all screw up. Sharing our stories, whether face-to-face or online, helps us connect, and reminds us we’re not each other’s enemies.
My hope now is that when I move to California to be near my family, I’ll meet that one guy who captures not just my heart but my soul and mind too. I want someone who’ll sweep me off my feet like the wind, someone I can protect as much as he protects me. I crave the simplicity of life with him, the quiet moments untouched by the world’s chaos. I yearn for those deep, meaningful conversations that I feel I can’t live without. I might be old-fashioned at heart, even if I’m pretty good with tech. I just hope that man out there isn’t too scared to find me, even when I’m not looking.”
As an autistic woman, love feels like a vivid, intricate tapestry—beautiful, overwhelming, and sometimes hard to unravel. For me, it’s not just an emotion; it’s a sensory experience, a rhythm that can either ground me or throw me off balance. Being autistic shapes how I give and receive love in ways that don’t always align with what people expect. My brain processes everything deeply—every touch, every word, every quiet moment—so love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a full-body immersion. Sometimes that intensity is a gift, letting me connect with someone in a way that feels almost cosmic. Other times, it’s a challenge, because the world’s unspoken rules about love can feel like a language I’m still learning to speak.
I’m extremely patient and easygoing, even when life throws lemons at me—and trust me, it’s tossed plenty. That patience isn’t something I had to force; it’s just part of who I am. Maybe it’s the autism, giving me this ability to sit with discomfort and not let it derail me, or maybe it’s the way I’ve learned to adapt to a world that doesn’t always make space for me. Though I’ve adapted to changes in my life, some of it was hard to swallow and hard to understand—especially when I was married for eight years and my spouse never once told me he loved me, even as I poured those words out to him. That silence was a lemon I couldn’t sweeten, no matter how patient I tried to be. I’d say “I love you,” hoping it would spark something, anything—a mirror to my own heart. But the absence of those words felt like a void, a rejection I couldn’t decode. As an autistic person, I crave clarity, and that lack of reciprocation left me spinning, questioning if love was even there.
Unlike some autistic folks, I don’t have sensory issues with touch—just when things get fast. I love the warmth of a hug, the weight of a hand in mine, the quiet intimacy of closeness. It’s soothing, grounding, a way to feel tethered to someone I care about. But when the pace picks up—when emotions or actions come rushing at me like a tidal wave—it’s too much. I enjoy being able to process things at my own pace, to let love unfold slowly, like a flower I can study petal by petal. That’s when touch feels safe and meaningful; I can savor it, let it sink in without my senses scrambling to keep up. In that marriage, the silence wasn’t just about words—it was the speed of disconnection, the way things moved too fast or not at all, leaving me no room to breathe or understand.
That’s why love languages mean so much to me. They’re like a map, a way to navigate the chaos and communicate what I need—and what I want to give—without getting lost in translation. Words of affirmation, especially, are a lifeline; hearing “I love you” or “I’m here” in clear, direct terms cuts through the noise in my head and anchors me. In those eight years, I didn’t get those words, and it left a hole—one I didn’t even know how to name until I learned how much they mattered. Acts of service or quality time, though, can speak just as loudly when they’re deliberate and steady, giving me the space to process them my way. I don’t need love to be flashy or rushed—I need it to match my rhythm, to let me catch my breath and feel it fully.
As a woman, there’s this added layer—society often expects me to be nurturing or intuitive in ways that don’t always come naturally. I might not pick up on subtle hints or flirt in the “typical” way, but my love is fierce and deliberate. I bring that same patience and ease to relationships, letting things grow at their own pace, not forcing what doesn’t fit—even when it’s taken years to understand why some things never did. I adapted to that marriage and kept loving through the silence because I could handle the slow burn of uncertainty. But I thrive when love meets me where I am when it’s steady enough for me to process and deep enough to feel real.
Love languages give me a structure to express that, to say “This is how I love you” without having to mask who I am. They let my partner see me—not just the autistic me or the woman me, but the whole, messy, authentic me who can laugh off life’s lemons while still feeling their sting, who can adapt to silence but blooms when given space to process at my own pace. And when someone speaks my love language back—whether it’s a quiet “I love you,” a gentle touch that lingers just right, or a moment of undivided time—it’s like they’re saying, “I see you, and I’m choosing to meet you where you are.” After eight years of missing that, I know now it’s not just a want—it’s a need. That’s everything.
Imagine a world where helping each other is second nature. In this world, we’d feel more connected, turning neighbors into friends and reducing loneliness. Communities would be safer and more nurturing.
Economically, sharing resources and opportunities would lift many out of poverty and reduce inequality. Small businesses would thrive, and education and healthcare would be more accessible.
Our environment would benefit too. Communities would unite to protect natural resources, leading to more sustainable practices like community gardens and renewable energy projects.
On a personal level, helping others brings fulfillment and purpose. Acts of kindness inspire more kindness, creating a compassionate and empathetic society. Our mental and emotional well-being would improve, as helping others reduces stress and increases happiness.
In this vision, we’d see stronger communities, economic prosperity, environmental sustainability, and better well-being. Let’s strive to make this a reality, one act of kindness at a time
Name the most expensive personal item you’ve ever purchased (not your home or car).
The most expensive item I purchased is my laptop because buying a laptop isn’t just about owning a piece of technology; it involves making a thoughtful choice that aligns with my needs and preferences. With the vast array of options available, selecting the right laptop can be overwhelming.
A laptop not only provides me with the ability to work on the go but also keeps you connected with the world. With its built-in Wi-Fi capabilities, I can access the internet from anywhere and stay in touch with friends, family, and colleagues.
God has something better for me. This is a belief that brings hope and reassurance to many individuals facing challenges or uncertainty in their lives. It is a belief that there is a divine plan, a purposeful path that is being laid out for each one of us.
In times of adversity, it can be difficult to see beyond the present circumstances. We may feel lost, confused, or overwhelmed. But it is during these moments that the belief in something better becomes a guiding light, providing solace and strength.
This belief acknowledges that setbacks and disappointments are not permanent. It reminds us that God’s plans are far greater than our own, and that sometimes what we perceive as a loss or failure is actually a redirection towards something greater.
When we trust in God’s plan, we open ourselves up to the possibilities that lie ahead. We let go of our need for control and surrender to the divine wisdom that knows what is best for us. This surrender does not mean giving up or being passive, but rather it is an act of faith and trust in the higher power.
God’s plans for us may not always align with our own desires or expectations. It may require us to step out of our comfort zones, to take risks, or to let go of what no longer serves us. But in doing so, we create space for the blessings that are waiting to unfold.
It is important to remember that God’s timing is not always our own. The journey towards something better may involve patience, perseverance, and personal growth. It may require us to develop resilience, to learn important lessons, and to build character along the way.
In moments of doubt or discouragement, it can be helpful to reflect on past experiences where God’s hand was evident. We can recall times when doors closed, only for new and unexpected opportunities to arise. These reminders serve as a testament to the belief that God has something better in store for us.
While we may not always understand or see the bigger picture, having faith in something better allows us to move forward with hope and optimism. It encourages us to continue striving, to keep dreaming, and to trust that God’s plans are unfolding in perfect harmony.
So, let us embrace the belief that God has something better for us. Let us release our fears and doubts, and open our hearts to the possibilities that lie ahead. With faith as our compass, we can navigate through life’s challenges, knowing that something greater awaits us on the other side.
Designing the city of the future requires a balance between practicality, efficiency, and sustainability. While it is important to consider the environment, it is equally crucial to approach the design process with common sense and avoid being overly obsessive. Here’s how I would go about designing such a city:
Smart Infrastructure: The city of the future should be equipped with a robust and interconnected infrastructure. Utilizing smart technologies, such as sensors and data analytics, we can optimize resource allocation, traffic management, waste management, and energy consumption. This will enhance efficiency without compromising functionality.
Mixed-Use Zoning: To promote a sense of community and reduce commuting, I would design neighborhoods with mixed-use zoning. By integrating residential, commercial, and recreational spaces within close proximity, residents can easily access essential amenities, fostering a more walkable and livable environment.
Efficient Public Transportation: Prioritizing efficient and accessible public transportation systems is essential. Developing an extensive network of buses, trams, or trains can reduce traffic congestion and the reliance on private vehicles. Additionally, incorporating bike lanes and pedestrian-friendly pathways will encourage alternative modes of transportation.
Green Spaces: While not being overly obsessive with the environment, integrating green spaces throughout the city is crucial for the well-being of residents. Parks, gardens, and recreational areas not only provide opportunities for relaxation and exercise but also contribute to improved air quality and overall mental health.
Sustainable Energy Solutions: Emphasizing sustainable energy sources is important without becoming obsessive. Incorporating solar panels, wind turbines, or other renewable energy systems can help reduce the city’s carbon footprint. However, it’s crucial to balance the cost-effectiveness and practicality of these solutions to ensure they are viable for long-term implementation.
Resilient Design: Considering the potential impacts of climate change, designing the city with resilience in mind is essential. Implementing measures such as flood-resistant infrastructure, green roofs, and permeable surfaces can help mitigate the effects of extreme weather events while ensuring the city remains functional and adaptable.
Embracing Technology: Leveraging advancements in technology, such as smart grids, Internet of Things (IoT), and artificial intelligence, can enhance the efficiency and effectiveness of various city systems. From optimizing energy consumption to improving waste management, embracing technology can streamline operations and enhance the overall quality of life for residents.
Community Engagement: Lastly, involving the community in the design process is crucial. Seeking input from residents, businesses, and organizations can help ensure that the city meets the needs and aspirations of its inhabitants. This approach fosters a sense of ownership and pride, leading to a more cohesive and vibrant city.
In designing the city of the future, it is important to strike a balance between environmental considerations and common sense. By prioritizing efficiency, practicality, and community engagement, we can create a city that is both sustainable and livable for generations to come.
Deep Thinking 