Deep Thinking

Recently, I came across a post on X suggesting that people like me “suck the joy out of being a fan” simply because I choose to celebrate someone with respect, dignity, and truth. It also implied that correcting misinformation is unnecessary — as if truth somehow ruins the fun. That kind of thinking didn’t upset me; it showed me how disconnected some people are from what healthy admiration should look like.

For me, admiration is not shallow or performative. When I appreciate someone, I feel it deeply and intentionally. Their work, their character, their values — these are things that genuinely inspire me. My joy doesn’t come from chaos, overstepping boundaries, or indulging in rumors. It comes from a place of sincerity, honesty, and emotional clarity.

And I’ll be honest: I am not afraid to speak my mind and say, “This isn’t okay,” when I see behavior that crosses lines or spreads misinformation. I won’t stay silent when people dehumanize someone, twist narratives for entertainment, or act entitled to someone’s private life. I won’t pretend that harmful behavior is harmless. Calling something out isn’t about policing others — it’s about protecting the truth and standing up for basic decency. If something feels wrong, invasive, or misleading, then it isn’t okay, and I have every right to say so. Respect doesn’t come from silence; it comes from courage.

Correcting misinformation doesn’t “kill the vibe.” It safeguards the truth. False narratives change how people are seen, and they often create toxic dynamics that harm the very person being celebrated. Saying, “Actually, that’s not accurate,” isn’t being controlling — it’s choosing honesty over fantasy. It’s choosing integrity over convenience. It’s choosing respect over entertainment at someone else’s expense.

Respect, dignity, and privacy are not the enemies of joy; they are its foundation. Celebration doesn’t require invading someone’s personal world. Admiration does not require entitlement. People who think boundaries ruin the experience confuse access with appreciation. You don’t need to cross lines to celebrate someone’s work or presence in the world.

As a high-functioning autistic woman, I don’t experience admiration lightly. I feel things with intensity, clarity, and sincerity. I notice details others gloss over. I understand nuances people ignore. And I value truth over popularity, respect over noise, and humanity over spectacle. None of that has anything to do with “sucking joy” out of fandom — it’s about honoring someone in the deepest, healthiest way I know.

If someone needs disrespect, rumors, or invasive behavior to feel “joy,” then their joy was never grounded to begin with. Joy that depends on ignoring boundaries isn’t real joy — it’s escapism disguised as celebration. And escapism built on someone else’s privacy is not something I will ever support.

Everyone is free to celebrate in their own way. But no one should shame someone for choosing dignity, truth, and emotional responsibility. I’m not trying to control anyone. I’m simply choosing the version of admiration that aligns with compassion, integrity, and respect for humanity. If that offends someone, then their discomfort is not mine to carry.

At the end of the day, joy without respect is shallow. Joy with respect lasts. I will continue to celebrate in a way that honors truth, protects against misinformation, and recognizes that the person being admired deserves privacy. Respect doesn’t diminish joy — it protects it. And that is the only kind of joy I’m interested in being part of.