Deep Thinking

Celebrity culture is a fascinating phenomenon. On one hand, celebrities inspire us, entertain us, and sometimes even feel like family because of how present they are in our daily lives. On the other, many fans cross an invisible line—shifting from admiration to a sense of entitlement, as though they own a piece of the celebrity’s life. But where does this feeling come from?

Parasocial Relationships

At the root is what psychologists call a parasocial relationship. Fans often consume interviews, social media posts, movies, and shows so regularly that it creates a powerful illusion of intimacy. It feels like we know these stars personally, when in reality, the connection is one-sided. This blurring of boundaries can lead fans to believe they have a stake in a celebrity’s choices—whether it’s who they date, how they dress, or what projects they pursue.

Media Access and Illusions of Intimacy

Social media accelerates this sense of closeness. Celebrities post selfies, stories, and behind-the-scenes moments that create the impression of authenticity and accessibility. For fans, it feels like an invitation into their private world. But curated glimpses don’t equal consent to full access. When fans mistake these digital fragments for a whole person, ownership tendencies grow.

Projection and Identification

Many fans project their own values, dreams, or struggles onto celebrities. They see them not just as performers, but as symbols—representations of what they wish for in themselves. This identification can morph into an expectation: if the celebrity changes, disappoints, or chooses differently, the fan feels personally betrayed, almost as though their investment is being disregarded.

The Commercial Factor

The entertainment industry itself sometimes feeds this mindset. Marketing campaigns encourage fans to “join the family,” “support the journey,” or “be part of the legacy.” While this language builds loyalty, it also blurs the line between admiration and ownership, convincing fans that their financial or emotional investment entitles them to personal influence.

Outlander and the Case of Sam Heughan as Jamie Fraser

Few fandoms illustrate this sense of ownership more vividly than Outlander. When Sam Heughan first stepped into the role of Jamie Fraser, he wasn’t just playing a character — he embodied a romantic ideal deeply rooted in Diana Gabaldon’s beloved novels. For many readers and viewers, Jamie was already a living, breathing figure in their imaginations. Sam’s portrayal only amplified that connection.

Fans didn’t just fall in love with the character; they projected Jamie’s traits onto Sam himself. Over time, this blurred the boundary between actor and role, creating the expectation that Sam should mirror Jamie’s loyalty, passion, and choices in his real life. It was as if Jamie Fraser stepped off the page and onto the red carpet — and fans wanted him to stay that way.

But here’s where I think the story turns into something even more beautiful: Sam is now moving from Jamie Fraser to Macbeth and to other creative projects he is envisioning. This evolution shows his passion as an artist and his courage to take on challenges beyond what fans already know him for. Rather than trying to hold him inside the box of Jamie Fraser forever, fans have the chance to genuinely support him by embracing his new work and enjoying what he continues to create.

Now, imagine this from another perspective: picture yourself being scrutinized by the public, with strangers feeling entitled to weigh in on your every choice. Imagine them demanding access to your private life, trying to shape it, or questioning it. Would you enjoy that? Of course not. In fact, you would likely try to protect yourself by hiding as much of your private life as possible. That is exactly the kind of pressure Sam and many actors live under — and it explains why keeping boundaries is not only natural, but necessary.

And take it a step further: imagine you have a partner you truly love, and they are bullied or ridiculed online simply because they are dating you. That’s what happens when fans cross the line and convince themselves that they, not the celebrity, should have a say in who someone loves. It’s not only cruel — it’s a sign of unhealthy obsession. People who behave this way often need to take a serious step back and consider their own mental health. No one has ownership over another person’s life, and certainly not over someone they’ve never truly known.

In a way, Outlander became the perfect example of parasocial attachment colliding with ownership. Sam gave the world Jamie Fraser, but many fans wanted Jamie forever — forgetting that Sam is a real man, not a fictional Highland warrior bound to anyone’s expectations. Supporting his artistry, rather than attempting to invade his privacy, is the healthiest and most respectful way to honor what he has given us.

Opening Our Eyes

This isn’t about scolding anyone — it’s about awareness. Many people don’t even realize how their words or behavior, especially online, can weigh heavily on another person’s shoulders. Celebrities may seem larger than life, but at the end of the day, they are still human beings who deserve kindness and respect just like anyone else.

And here’s a question worth reflecting on: if someone like Sam were to find true love, would people continue to bully, troll, or tear him down for it? Or would they love him enough to accept the fact that he is happy? That question doesn’t just apply to Sam Heughan — it applies to every actor and actress who faces the same struggle.

When we say we admire or love someone, it should mean we want the best for them — their happiness, their growth, their joy. Anything less isn’t love at all; it’s ownership in disguise.

✨ The real gift we can give our favorite actors isn’t control, but freedom — the freedom to live, to love, and to keep creating without fear of being torn apart for being human.